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 | Forgive Me
Created: Mar 1, 09 | 3 Entries | 49 Views |  |
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| | | I Was Wrong
Dear {Name},
It was unfair what I did to you. And it is unfair of me now to ask for forgiveness. I know what I did was wrong and I realized how much I bruised your heart. I did not comprehend how much you meant to me at the time because it was only then that I was afraid of commitment, afraid of being hurt and afraid of love. I am not condoning my actions, only explaining the seemingly trivial reasoning behind them.
Whenever I would get close to love I would do anything to ruin the chances of a successful relationship. I have always been a coward, you see., and scared of becoming emotionally wounded. To protect myself and my heart I would be the one to demolish the relationship before there was ever a chance to become hurt. I would purposefully hurt others. I was afraid and I was a fool.
I thought maybe you were just another chance. I saw that we were becoming close and I ended that chance before it ever became a reality. But only after I hurt you in such a terrible way did I see that I really just hurt myself. It tore me up just to see your pain and hear it in your voice. This never happened before. And the I realized this awful feeling which only existed along with the emptiness I created when I was alone and without you. It was truly the worst feeling, worse that any pain or heartbreak you could ever have inflicted upon me and I deserve every drop of its vile sickness. I hurt the first person I have ever truly loved.
Although I am wallowing in a pit of my own self-created misery, there is a good side to all that I have done. I see now the problems I have caused and the mistakes I have made. I no longer want to run and hide from love that can be life consuming, fulfilling and even possible treacherous to the heart. You have made me desire what I have always turned my back on: a loving romance.
I will apologize every single day until the day we die if you like. I will shout out my love for you from the mountaintops, I will announce to to everyone and anyone. If only you give me this chance to make it up to you I will do anything your heart desires. I know I do not deserve a second chance, not after I treated you in such a terrible way, but I will do my best to make it up to you if only you could see through my past horrible mistakes. And if you are unable, I will understand, my love. And I will still offer you my solemn vow to never again treat another soul the way I have treated you. This will be my last and most precious gift to you. Take comfort in knowing that you have changed the life of one individual for the better and the world owes you a debt of gratitude for it.
Missing You,
{Name}
by MaybeSomeDaySome1 | Posted: Mar 1, 09 | | |
| | | | Help Me Understand
Dear {Name},
I might not understand what I did to hurt you, but I am aware that I have offended you deeply. I did not mean to cause you so much heartbreaking pain and anguish and I hope you believe me. Even though I have hurt you, it was not intended because I did not know any better. Call me an ignorant fool, call me what you will, but please let me make things better and make things right. I need your help to understand.
First let me understand how I hurt you and I can vow that it will never happen again. I want to learn, I want to make my amends, I want to do anything I can to make you happy once more. Relationships take work and although I can make mistakes, it is only because I have never been involved in such a deep and loving relationship before. This is new to me and I am still learning how to act and behave.
It's not difficult, trust me. Loving you is the easiest thing I have ever done, because you make it easy. And I hope you will help me to make things better for the both of us. I did not realize anything I could have said or done would have hurt you so badly, there was no malicious intent and you must know that. And although I am having a difficult time understanding the pain I have caused you, it is not because I don't want to. I do want to. I wish I could feel that sting for you and take it away. I would bear all of the suffering for you if you would only allow me.
Please forgive me for my grievances, I meant no harm and I have never had any ill intent or behavior ever in mind. I have only always loved you since the day I met you. I throw myself at your mercy and hope that your love is as strong as mine. I hope that love will allow you to see how imperfect I am but how perfect my love is for you. I only make mistakes because I did not realize there would be any hurt. Please forgive me my love, and help me to make things right.
Patiently Yours,
{Name}
by MaybeSomeDaySome1 | Posted: Mar 1, 09 | | |
| | | | I Never Meant To Hurt You
Dear {Name},
I never meant to hurt you. There isn't anything in this world of ours that could ever make want to hurt you. You are the light of my life and the love in my heart. You are my everything.
But I did hurt you and I didn't mean it. Because you feel this pain and betrayal and knowing that I have bestowed it upon you, I am churning inside with my own pain and turmoil. I can't believe how I could have inflicted emotional pain on the one dearest person in my life. Would it help you to know that the anguish I feel about myself is rivaling your own sorrow; and the pain I feel for having hurt my dearest love is making me suffer to a point of unsurmountable grief. I would rather lay a thousands stones on top of my body than to ever see you again in such agony.
My love, I will never again make the same mistake twice. The only thing I wish for and long for is your happiness and I want to be the source of that happiness. Would it be too selfish of me to ask for forgiveness? For it is only your forgiveness that will ease my own suffering so that I will only be able to do good upon you. That is all I want to do, for the rest of my life, make you happy.
I love you. I am so very sorry. Please accept my humble apology and know that I would never deliberately hurt you in any way. I love you too much.
With All of My Love,
{Name}
by MaybeSomeDaySome1 | Posted: Mar 1, 09 | | |
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